HAPPY ‘LOVE YOURSELF’ DAY
With Valentine’s Day around the corner, shops are filled with big red hearts, stuffed bears and crazy specials on all things corny and lame.
Real people in-love say ‘I love you’ everyday. They shower each other with love, they spoil each other, take each other out and do silly romantic things at random whenever they feel like it.
Why do we fall for it though? Why do we allow ourselves to get caught up in the consumerist trap where ‘The Man’ is now in control of our emotions? We have no choice really. As the year starts, everyone is excited for the New Year, but come mid-January the shops start filling out with red hearts and chocolate specials. The Man doesn’t even give you a chance. Next thing you know you’re swiping left and right on Tinder trying to find that perfect match because “I will not be alone on Valentine’s Day”. When that’s exactly what you should be doing. People who know me know that I always speak of self-love and how important it is to just love your damn self. It starts within; it starts with spoiling yourself, spoiling your soul and spoiling your body. It starts with affirmations, about self. It starts with waking up in the morning and telling yourself how great you are, how blessed you are to be alive, breathing and waking up every day. It starts with looking in the mirror and accepting who you are. Your personality traits, your flaws, your ying and yang – the good, the bad and ugly. From your temperaments, to your habits, to your drinking and gluttonous ways, to the way you’ve used people and manipulated situations to suit you. To your sensitivity and even the harsh side of you. Or the irrational side of you and the way jealousy tends to rear its head easily. When you start to accept these things about yourself, you start to make sense of yourself and strangely enough you start to lose some of these traits too. Because we develop a lot of these traits due to a lack of self-love, or, insecurities as they are well known.
Society fills us with these insecurities. Make us feel less because we aren’t a certain way, or don’t have a certain bank account, or live in a certain area, or wear certain clothes and don’t shop at certain boutiques. And of course, here we are days before Valentine’s Day swiping left or right, or clicking on online sites yet half of us have no clue what we’re swiping or clicking for. What is Valentine’s Day? Who is Valentine? He’s a Saint right? Valentinus from Rome in A.D something or the other… A man martyred on February 14th. The saint of beekeeping, epilepsy; who was called upon for interventions for plagues, fainting and traveling but is also the patron saint of engaged couples and happy marriages. Riiiiight! And here we are buying chocolates and spending wads of cash on hotel getaways, expensive dinner nights and worthless jewelry to celebrate some guy who lends himself to apiculture, sickness and then engaged people. Uhm.. okay. And why pray tell do we not celebrate Valentine’s Day on January 7th, or November 3rd, or the 6th of July, the 25th of July and even the 30th of July? Hmm… Why these dates you ask? Apparently these are the other dates that one can celebrate Valentine’s Day throughout the year. So who chose the 14th of February then? And why?
If you are in fact single this V-Day… Spoil yourself. Sleep in on Sunday, buy all the things that make you happy on Saturday and stay in with yourself. Wake up and look in the mirror and tell yourself you are one hot sexy tamali. Take a bath lathered in oils and bath salts that make your body feel like a thousand hands are touching it. Heck, touch yourself if you must. We’re self-loving here after all. Jump out the bath and play your favourite feel-good song and sing and dance naked in your room while looking at your body and appreciated every inch of it. Wear you favourite outfit, even if your plans are to stay in. And if you do stay in, make yourself a meal that speaks wonders to your soul and makes your taste buds dance with sheer delight. Or, order your favourite take out meal if you’re not blessed with kitchen skills. Spend a day with yourself doing things that make YOU happy. Take a moment to meditate and I’m not saying sitting cross-legged with incense burning saying some Tibetan affirmation – unless you want too of course. I mean just sit, with yourself, in silence and listen to your soul. If you go out, go out there with love in your heart and a smile on your face. Feel the breeze of the day brush pass you and feel the love as it fills the air with endorphins. Just feel. And not loneliness, because we are bred to believe that being alone means that you are lonely, when that is not the case at all.
I have so much fun with myself. I am so comfortable with who I am, that being alone isn’t daunting for me at all. I have sat for many hours, on many a day accepting my good, my bad and my ugly. I am so secure with the person that I am. I have never loved myself more than I love myself now and because of that I am in the space to fully allow love into my life and to fully allow myself to love someone else. Which I do.
So, I leave you with this on this Valentine’s Day. Love yourself, for when you do, you open the doors for someone to truly love you. And when you accept all of you, you have no insecurities to hide behind, so loving someone comes naturally without fear of any loss. For in life, we lose and that’s the name of the game. But to lose with love, is not a loss at all.